its a mad mission

And now, a lighter post this week…

I guess I’d always assumed that everyone loves naming things as much as I do. Why wouldn’t they? You can say so much about a person, place or thing through just a small string of sounds –– letter combinations can sing or scowl. Lucy sounds like a nicer lady than Bertha. Living in Florence sounds preferable to Liverpool. And a Mac sounds more appealing than a Hewlett Packard.

Bill, inexplicably, does not have this same naming obsession. What? You don’t love naming your pet something that sounds cool, but not cliché, that makes a statement about that little critter’s personality? I loved the name of my family’s dog, Cassidy. Now it screams mid-90s to me, but when we found it embroidered on a dog bed in the L.L.Bean catalog, we knew it was the one. It SPOKE to us. Later, I titled my guinea pig Dr. Huxtable. Have I mentioned I have a special place in my heart for absurd or ironic names? Go ahead, name your pomeranian Brutus.

I think my name preoccupation is rooted somewhere in my love of language. When I was young, I read non-stop. I also wrote stories. Or rather, started stories. I would spend hours creating and naming the characters (I remember one of the titles, “Missing Millicent.” I sketched the cover, too: a victorian girl with sidelong glance, probably at the grave of her dead sister). I completed maybe two of these tales. But writing them wasn’t really the fun part for me anyway.

My house in S.C. was called the Little Yellow Bungalow, which also doubles for my imaginary rock band’s name. My camera’s name is Paco. My work computer is Jacopo (long story, but read The Count of Monte Cristo’s account of Edmond Dantes’ first encounter with his future servant). My guitar’s name is Damascus. My cherry red CRV was name Mr. Darcy. Our future children are Will, Lila, Jude and Ezra (friends of ours used names with four letters for all of their nine children—fabulously efficient for yelling at your kids, if you ask me!). Then again, I’ll probably have changed my mind by the time we have kids and end up with Victoria, Seraphina, Zacharias and Delphinium.

My own name, Jessica Ann, always seemed especially boring. During the 80s I wished with all my heart to be named Tiffany or Stephanie. Anything but the most common name the year I was born, followed by Ann WITHOUT an E. I figured ’81 was just an uncreative year for my parents. But a few weeks ago, I found out that I am named after my dad’s favorite guitar song at the time, “Jessica,” by the Allman Brothers. I have a renewed sense of purpose.

Are there any other word nerds out there who love names, or name any purchase over $200 like I do? I’d be interested in reading about some of them…